Christmas homework

 Fr. Alex gave us homework for Christmas Eve Mass... we are to think of the most memorable Christmas gift we have ever received and will share it at the bilingual Christmas Eve Mass on the 24th. 

I can only think of one such memorable present. I received it from "Santa" when I was 7 or 8 years old. It must have been my last "Santa" Christmas. But really it was a gift from Dad. 

The most memorable Christmas present I received was the box set of volumes 1-6 of the Anne of Green Gables books by L.M. Montgomery. It quickly became my favorite book(s) for the following 25 years or so, and I've read it more than I've read the Bible (something I jokingly admitted to JFJ the other day, to which he looked at me with horror saying, "Umma, the Bible is the most important book!" LOL. How dare I...). 

Looking back, this gift is one of only a handful of really specifically positive personal memories I have of my father. He later explained to me how he liked the books in his youth because he had lost his mother early in life and could relate to the orphan Anne. It was a rare conversation that I had with him about his childhood, most of which I learned about from stories told by my mom on his behalf. In a sea of tumultuous memories and adverse childhood experiences with my father, this is one that was surprisingly... tender and vulnerable. And then for decades I found delight, amusement, and thrill in reading and rereading those books of that series. 

Lately I've been reflecting on how little time I have left with my parents. If we're lucky, they will live for another two decades or so. If the last two decades have taught me anything, though, it is that time FLIES. I have far less time left with them than what we've had so far. It's a sobering thought, and one that I try to keep in mind in each of my interactions with them now. I hope the time we have left will be filled with happy memories, hope and warmth. 

Isn't that why I spent a decade of lots of the sacrament of reconciliation, spiritual direction, and therapy to be able to do? It's gotta be one of the reasons at least.

Lord knows how I am screwing up our kids. I'm not sure what gift, if any, they'll really remember in their adulthood. Their lives are so... provided for. I realize I am part of the providing forces, but it sometimes amazes me how much they HAVE and yet how much more they want! It feels decadent and hollow somehow. But I don't know how to share in the depth that is Christmas with them amidst all the distractions, all the STUFF. I don't know if they value anything they receive. It's appalling to me the throwaway attitude I sense in them. I grew up really trying to take care of everything I had to prolong their usefulness and to just save. I don't know how to motivate our kids to do likewise. I feel like that would be a better gift than any of the toys or games we give them each year for Christmas and birthdays.