Postpartum Recovery and Newborn Care Notes for the Next Time (or Pointers for First-timers)

I remember that while putting together our baby registry and preparing things for our (first) child, I really didn't know what to expect we'd need or which items/types would be best. But many things became crystal clear after our son was born. Luckily, we had a lot of things on hand because my friends handed down a lot of items to me that I would not even have thought of buying. Registry advisory lists are so long yet not specific enough, and ads only pitch the cutesy stuff, not the practical stuff. We ended up utilizing a lot of Amazon Prime shipping or making Target runs to keep our sanity.

Here are some pointers to keep in mind for the next time (I might have to buy some as the items from my friends may have to be returned or passed on!):

1. Nipple relief for breastfeeding - nipple shields (for flat nipples and sore nipples in my case), breast pads (for all the drippage), and breast shields (to let the nipples breathe before stuffing them back in the bra after feeding) are all worth the investment. Also, LANOLIN is awesome for sore nipples. In the first weeks, I put lanolin on my nipples before showering so they'd sting less under the water pressure. I had bought some gel soothers for nipples (from Lansinoh) but never ended up using them because they are only good for 72 hours after opening and are sort of pricey for such a limited use. I used Lansinoh brand for the breast pads and lanolin, Medela brand nipple shields, and Philips Avent breast shields.
2. Other breastfeeding aids - the Boppy Nursing Pillow is great for resting one's arms and holding much of baby's weight while breastfeeding (in the cradle and football positions at least). I also recommend getting good nursing bras. I think the best kinds are the ones that have clasps on each side that unlatch down. Definitely no underwires. I found the other kind (with which you just fold down the "cup") uncomfortable when my breasts were engorged. Nursing cami's with the unlatchable supports are also convenient. I realized after giving birth that I have very few button-down shirts that make breastfeeding easier.
3. Newborn clothes - I always thought onesies were the easiest, but I quickly learned that is not the case. Especially for boys in warm environs, the best are the long-sleeved shirts with snappy fronts (max 4 buttons) and with fold-overs for the hands so mittens are not needed. These are by far the most convenient especially during middle-of-the-night diaper changes. Otherwise, I'd say layettes with front zipper closures are next best. Front snappy closures are ok, but trying to button 20 snappies at 2 AM is really annoying. Onesies are ok during the night too (usually only 2-3 snappies at the bottom), but they are annoying to initially put on over the head. Our son frequently blew out his diaper with poo and had to change clothes. During these instances, onesies were a hassle to change quickly. In general, front closures, fold-overs for hands, zippers, and not more than 2-4 snappy buttons will be my general rule of thumb for infant clothes.
4. Swaddles and blankets - Definitely invest in the sleepsack swaddles with velcro closures. Our son didn't like his arms being swaddled and would often break out of the blanket swaddles no matter how tightly we bound him. The velcro closures were much more secure so he'd stay in. I recommend the thinner cotton sleepsacks to the fleece/polyester blends, at least for babies like our son who sweat a lot. I'm not going to bother with pretty receiving blankets next time either, except maybe one for photos. Everything with baby boys is a candidate for pee and poo stainage. We had some plain cotton swaddles that we used more for spreading out on surfaces for tummy time or to keep him warm in the car seat. Then we had muslin swaddles (aden + anais brand) for actual swaddling. The rayon from bamboo aden + anais swaddles are much softer than their cotton ones.
5. Swing - Because I was intent on breastfeeding, we got our son off the pacifier as soon as we left the hospital. I don't know if that's why, but in any case, our son did not lull/comfort himself to sleep with a paci. Our swing was the lifesaver for putting him to sleep when he became too heavy to hold and would refuse to sleep by himself in bed. The swing that we borrowed had a wide swing as its lowest setting so I might try to find one that is a little less swing-y for our next child, if he/she needs a swing also. I realize not all babies take to swinging.
6. Changing pad covers - we needed at least 2-3 of these due to frequent mid-change poo/pee releases. There are also waterproof liners that can probably be used instead. Honestly, most of our mid-change "surprises" were pee... he aimed them off the changing pad anyway, and those liners are smaller than the pad even.
7. Laundry detergent - we had to do a load of our son's laundry about every 3-4 days. We used Dreft for regular loads and Oxi-Clean for babies for loads with stains.
8. Baby soaps, shampoos, etc. - useless at first. Our son had infant acne which would get agitated by any of these products. We mostly just used water. If anything, we used Dove for sensitive skin and Eucerin cream.

Aside from getting the best material things, I have to make a lot of mental adjustments each day to get over so-called baby blues and face my new life as a mother. I imagine these things will apply on yet another level for second, third, etc. children (yikes, can't even imagine that right now). Here are a few things I keep reminding myself or doing to not go over the edge:

1. Accept people's help even if they don't necessarily do things "my way." I am a type A personality and probably slightly OCD. To have my mother and MIL in my kitchen and cooking for us and buying us food was a household management nightmare (yes, I am that crazy). However, I would have probably eaten way too much takeout or processed foods or I would have starved if it weren't for my awesome mother and MIL. So who cares if they don't know where everything properly goes in my cupboards or they make something with too little or too much salt and soy sauce or they buy too much of something that ends up getting thrown away? Just take it and BE GRATEFUL.
2. Eat the damn miyuk gook. At first I was exclusively eating miyuk gook 5-6 times a day, morning, noon, night, middle of the night. Then, upon my insistence, they let me cut down to just 3 times a day around week 4 and then just 2 times a day. I switched to other gooks after week 5. I complained A LOT, especially during those first couple weeks. But honestly, if I get over myself, miyuk gook is admittedly really easy going down and coming out. So next time, I better just eat the damn thing and not complain. Plus, they made it for me by the gallon (see point 1 above).
3. Take the time for sitz baths. I stopped doing the sitz baths after a couple weeks although my doctor recommended them 2-3 times daily. I just couldn't find the time to do it so frequently every day and preferred to catch some sleep instead. However, I picked up doing the sitz baths again at least once a day for better healing down there and because sitz bath time is 20 minutes I can have completely to myself. That timeout is essential for sanity. Sometimes I just sit there to clear my head or to think, and often I spend time to pray. No one bothers me; it is me time.
4. I will not get any sleep, maybe max 2-3 hours a night. Once I accepted this as fact, nights when I got 5 or 6 hours of sleep felt like tremendous blessings. In the end, I probably had more nights with 5-6 hours of sleep than with only 2 hours, at least in the first 6 weeks (which is the point at which we are right now). I think I average around 4 hours and slip in a short nap or two during the day. It's grueling, but I won't die.

So there you have it. I'll add to this list if I think of more pointers. We just passed the end of week 6 yesterday and I got an all-clear at my postpartum OB checkup yesterday. Onward and upward!