How I Wash Cloth Diapers

Despite what other moms may claim, I find cloth diapering to be laborious. I'm not going to lie. It isn't easy. But I do believe it is totally worth it.

When changing JFJ, we drop the prefold diaper into the diaper pail (which always has a liner in it), wipe the diaper cover, and hang the diaper cover to dry/air out until its next use or wash. Poopy diapers require a little shaking or scraping into the toilet (I just use some toilet paper to "scrape"). If it's a wetter poop, I run the diaper under cold water to get some of the stickier parts off then drop it into the diaper pail. (Please see this previous post for more information on our set-up.)

We own a Samsung front-loading HE washer/dryer set. After some experimentation, this is how I wash JFJ's diapers:
1. I throw the diapers, cloth wipes, diaper pail liner, and diaper covers into the washer all together. First a Quick Wash Cold with Charlie's Soap (and the occasional Booster), with Medium or High Spin at Heavy Soil Level. Takes about 32 minutes.
2. Then a Heavy Duty Wash Hot with Charlie's Soap (and the occasional Booster), with Extra High Spin at Heavy Soil Level. I also add a Pre-Wash cycle, an Extra Rinse, and an Extra Spin. Takes 2 hours and 8 minutes.
3. I pull out the diaper pail liner and the diaper covers to hang dry. The prefolds and cloth wipes I toss into the dryer. I read somewhere not to use the Sanitize setting on HE machines for diapers. But I use our Sanitize setting (Very Dry Dry Level, High Temp) to dry the diapers only. Takes 1 hour 2 minutes.
4. I hang the diapers after the dry cycle. Usually the dryer will do its job, but I like to hang them out in the sun for a bit to make sure they are completely dry before folding and stowing them.

We have 2 dozen diapers for JFJ at 9.5 months. We wash every 2-3 days. If we ever have baby #2, I will most likely buy at least 3 dozen of the Infant size/Size 1 (we use Osocozy prefolds).

Here's a link to the Osocozy Care and Use webpage for some more tips from the maker of our cloth diapers.

And that's it! Easy. Not really.

Notes on Cloth Diapering

JFJ is a proudly cloth-diapered baby. In addition to my concerns for his carbon footprint, JFJ's atopic dermatitis has us doing all sorts of things to keep his skin happy. So far, he's had rashes all over but never a diaper rash in the diaper area. If that's not a testament to the benefits of cloth diapering, I don't know what is.

We were living in an apartment for JFJ's months 0-8 and then busy settling into our house for month 9. We used Dy-Dee Diaper Service for these months and were very satisfied with their prefold diapers, prorap covers, and weekly delivery service. We used the infant size for the first few months and then switched to regular, which was still fitting fine when we stopped just shy of 9 months old. We started with 80 diapers per week then lowered it to 60 when he got a little older and didn't need as many diaper changes. Even 60 was a lot for us though. We could have easily gotten by with 50.

We do use disposables when we go out, however. I know hard core cloth diapering parents carry wetbags and use cloth diapers exclusively. We opt to use disposables when we go out. Even so, we have only had to get one large box of each size so far (usually 200+ diapers in each box). We had received two boxes of size 2, in fact, from our baby shower, and only went through one box before JFJ grew out of that size. His growth has tapered off a bit so I anticipate possibly having to buy another box of size 3 before he grows out of that size. The current box of size 3 diposables we are using right now is the first and only we've had to buy so far since we got the others as gifts!

We also have used disposable wipes while we were using the diaper service. I bought some cloth wipes when we started using our own cloth diapers. We currently use a combination of the disposables and the cloth. Our use of wipes has decreased signficantly as JFJ has gotten older since he poops much less often than in early infancy (although the quantity with each poopy diaper is another matter).

At 9 months, I bought JFJ two dozen OsoCozy Better Fit Prefolds made of unbleached cotton (lined with red) from Diapers.com. I wash a load every 2 days, and so far this has worked out nicely. We are still using three medium size Prorap covers we had bought from Dy-Dee and two Thirsties Duo Wrap Snaps size 2 that we had received from our baby shower (we've gone through size xs and s in the proraps as well as size 1 of Thirsties). We got to keep the diaper pail from Dy-Dee, and we use reusable Planet Wise Diaper Pail Liners (rotating two liners).

There are ample resources on the internet about cloth diapering. I've taken advice and instructions from a variety of Pinterest pins, Amazon reviews, and friends with experience.

To remember for baby #2...

1. Cloth diapers (and wipes) need to be treated to achieve absorbency before use. Especially cloth diapers made of natural materials (like cotton and bamboo) need to be prewashed many times. I read somewhere online to prewash three times. It turned out that our unbleached cotton OsoCozy Better Fit Prefolds didn't really absorb until wash 5 or 6. We went through an unpleasant couple days (nights especially) of leaky diapers before they started absorbing well. Once properly treated, however, the diapers absorb very well and are supposed to absorb even better with more washes.
2. Better Fits, although smaller, are no less absorbent than Regular Prefolds as far as I can tell. Dy-Dee's were regular prefolds so we folded the diaper horizontally before making the angel trifold. This made the diaper really bulky. I think we'll go for Better Fits when we have to buy Infant sized cloth diapers for baby #2 and stick to Toddler sized Better Fits for JFJ if he needs them that far.
3. Leg gussets are a must. We had a lot of poop leak onto the diaper cover, to be honest, but very rarely beyond the gussets. (Diaper blasts and projectile poo spreading up the back are a wholly different matter, which of course also happens with disposables.) OxiClean for baby works wonders in getting stains out of those diaper covers, thankfully!

I will post separately the details about washing our cloth diapers shortly.

Wisdom for Early Ahjummahdom 3: I Am Beloved

Lesson 3 is "Don't spend time with people who don't treat you well."

I explained this rather crudely to a little brother/dong-seng in his early 20s once as "when you're in your 30s, you don't give a shit about what other people think of your choices anymore... you just do what you gotta do." What I meant by this was not that we should make bad choices that draw negative opinions from others. The context of our conversation was his doing things he doesn't want to do and hanging out with people with whom he'd rather not just because he didn't want his friends to think badly of him. Who cares?? You gotta do what you gotta do. And if friends think badly of you when you do what you gotta do, then maybe they're not really good friends.

I am Beloved. Whether or not friends think so or regardless of how others treat us, we are Beloved. By God. So why spend time with people who contradict this fact? Time is precious and limited. We've only got so much of it. Better to surround ourselves with people who affirm the truth of our identity than ones who lie to us.

I'm not going to go into the Beloved bit because someone else does this so much better than I can: Henri Nouwen. I strongly recommend reading Life of the Beloved. 

Between my marriage, raising kids, my family, my job, and my various hobbies, I barely get enough sleep or time to eat. I don't have a lot of time to waste on sorting out mixed messages and falsehoods and licking wounds. So I prefer not avoid people who give me mixed messages and falsehoods and wounds in the first place. It's hard enough to find as much time as I'd like to spend with people who treat me well for heaven's sakes! Nobody's perfect and relationships aren't always smooth sailing, but the ones in which I can live as the Beloved and I can treat the other as the Beloved are the ones to keep.

Wisdom for Early Ahjummahdom 2: My Body is a Temple of the Holy Spirit

Do you not know that you are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwells in you? If anyone destroys God's temple, God will destroy that person; for the temple of God which you are, is holy. (1 Corinthians 3:16-17) 

Do you not know that your body is a temple of the holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? (1 Corinthians 6:19)

Back in youth group days, our counselors would use verses such as these to scare us into not smoking or taking drugs or getting tattoos. Whether or not such actions to our body is sinful is a topic for another time perhaps. The matter at hand is one's body... and its inevitable deterioriation and--dare I say it--death.

Start taking care of your body now, not later, because your body is basically gradually breaking down as you age whether you realize it or not. This is Lesson 2.

What does this have to do with the Holy Spirit? It doesn't... because humans are not the Holy Spirit. We are spiritual but also corporal, and we are not God.

The temple is a physical building. All physical buildings require maintenance and upkeep. The more regularly you maintain, the longer it will last and the easier it is to keep it well-maintained. Aside from the holiness factor, which makes our bodies sacred and therefore demanding respect and dignity on an abstract level, our physical bodies also demand good treatment on a concrete level.

Bearing in mind one's temporality, one's limitedness in body, is humbling, if not humiliating. I think this is important spiritually as well because it reminds me that I am not God. The omnipotence one sometimes feels as a youth is deceptive. While I don't want to curb human abilities too much--we are like God, after all, and made in God's image--ultimately we are not God.

So, for practical and prayerful purposes, one should exercise, eat healthfully, and be conscientious of potential diseases and conditions that can be harmful to our limited but infinitely dignified bodies. And of course gratitude for having a body and the life with it is also in order.

Wisdom for Early Ahjummahdom 1: Be A Good Steward

Money money money money... MONEY!

I try not to be obsessed about money, but I'm not going to lie... I worry about financial stability often. The fact of the matter is that money comes and goes. I can only do my best with what I've got (the theme here? haha). Being the oldest child of "failed immigrant" parents, as I like to (now) affectionately describe it, I don't have a whole lot. But I'm grateful because I definitely have what I need and more, if I'm honest with myself and not too greedy.

Stewardship... the notion appears in the Hebrew and Christian Scriptures all over the place, from God's injunction to Man in Genesis to Jesus' parable about the dishonest steward in the gospels. While saving for retirement sounds like a self-serving practice that has nothing to do with spirituality or God, saving and spending prudently and paying off debts and all such responsible handling of finances fall under good stewardship imho. How one handles finances reflects one's values and even attitudes toward God, community, and others. How much we spend on what demonstrates what is most valuable to us, and our debt-paying and generosity with money inevitably impacts our relationships with others. Yes, I opine that personal finances is never just a personal thing because it ultimately affects the collective. Therefore personal finances bleeds into communal economics (so leave some of your harvest for the widows and the orphans aiite?) and one's spiritual life.

Stewardship, according to the Merriam Webster Dictionary 11th Edition, is "the conducting, supervising or managing of something; esp. the careful and responsible management of something entrusted into one's care." I submit that finances are something entrusted into one's care. Many people will disagree with me on this, and in fact, most of us do not live with this attitude towards money (I often find myself falling into this even). Is it "MY money" or "money given to me to use for my and my family's well-being"? Especially after a long and wretched day on the job, I like to think of my earnings as "my money" to be honest. But no, I am merely the manager.

If it's not my money, then I should a) be grateful for having it in the first place, and b) use it wisely and for its intended purpose. Here, I submit that the intended purpose of personal financial resources is the health, well-being, and enjoyment of myself, my family, and the community. Really, isn't all purpose for the fullness of our BEING?

Saving for retirement now, then, becomes about setting aside some of one's resources to live one's fullness of being as much as possible when one is old and unable to earn as one is able now. One might naively think, "Well, I should just trust God will provide for me later as God provides for me now." Yes, God provides and will provide too... but what if God is providing for your later NOW? It's like that story about the stranded man who refuses help during a flood.

A man is stuck at his home during a flood. A neighbor comes by to take him to higher ground, but the man refuses the neighbor's help, saying God will come save him. The waters are rising so the man goes up to his roof. A rescue boat comes along to take him to safety, but he tells them to go along, for God will save him. Then his house becomes completely submerged. The man is stranded on a broken piece of debris. A helicopter flies overhead and throws him a line, his last chance of rescue. But the man refuses, insisting that God will save him. Finally, the man drowns in the flood. When he faces God, he asks why God didn't come to save him. God says, "I sent your neighbor, a rescue boat, and even a helicopter, but you refused to be saved!"

I am reminded of the parable of the talents (Matthew 25:14-30, Luke 19:12-27). I often interpret this parable to mean non-monetary things with which God entrusts us, but why not take it a little literally and apply it to money? I'm not saying God will give you a return on all your investments. But we ought to be faithful even in our financial matters and be responsible, not lazy.

So save wisely for retirement, spend only on what really is needed and truly is valuable, be generous but not foolish, and pay back one's debts for the good of society. And be grateful to God for what one has. All this is important for faith-filled living.

Besides, money is not even real. Hahahahahahaha

Wisdom for Early Ahjummahdom (aka one's 30s): 10 Points to Live By - Introduction

A friend of mine posted this on Facebook the other day: 10 Life Lessons to Excel In Your 30s

This is a fantastic article. It beautifully articulates crucial lessons I importantly (and at times painfully) learned in my 20s but are still trying to act upon in my 30s. Reading this was both very affirming and jolting. I'm already almost a third of the way through my 30s and still have such a long way to go. It just so happens that Lesson 1, "Start Saving for Retirement Now, Not Later," aligns with my new year's resolution for 2014: get our financial shit together. I'm definitely a work in progress (and a piece of work! haha).

The title urges us to "excel" in our 30s. I can't say that verb really attracts me to this enterprise called life. It implies an element of comparison with others and being superior. Sometimes I struggle enough to get by in a sane manner. I prefer to look at life as something in which I make the most of what I've got, do "the best I can with what God has given me." I admit this is inspired by a quote from Sargent Shriver I read in a book about him by his son, Mark Shriver.

So here is my approach to these life lessons for my 30s...

1. Start Saving for Retirement Now, Not Later (includes paying off debts asap, saving saving saving, and not spending frivolously): Be A Good Steward

2. Start Taking Care of Your Health Now, Not Later: My Body is a Temple of the Holy Spirit

3. Don't Spend Time With People Who Don't Treat You Well: I Am Beloved

4. Be Good To the People You Care About: Go and Do Likewise

5. You Can't Have Everything; Focus on Doing a Few Things Really Well: Humility... I Am Not God

6. Don't Be Afraid of Taking Risks, You Can Still Change: But I Am A Child of God

7. You Must Continue to Grow and Develop Yourself: Already But Not Yet

8. Nobody (Still) Knows What They're Doing, Get Used to It: Keep Discerning

9. Invest in Your Family, It's Worth It: Honor Your Father and Mother

10. Be Kind to Yourself, Respect Yourself: Be Selfish

I will dedicate a separate post to each of these points.

Earthquake Safety with the Baby

Yesterday morning just before 6:30 am, we were hit with an earthquake in the southland (magnitude 4.7, 9 km NNW of Westwood according to the USGS when I checked right after it hit). It was several full seconds long... quite a doozy! Imagine my panic when I realized that I had no idea what to do (other than instinctually) in an earthquake scenario with the baby. I ended up grabbing JFJ, who was sleeping in his cradle next to me, to duck and cover under our large desk, but the quake was over by the time JFJ was in my arms.

Living in southern California requires confident know-how on what to do during an earthquake. I did some research so I wouldn't be panicked again.

According to shakeout.org, the adult caregiver should carefully take the infant in one's arms, hold him/her against one's chest, and immediately DROP, COVER, and HOLD ON with one's body shielding the infant further.

Other emergency preparedness sites indicate that if the infant is in another room or far from the adult, the adult is supposed to DROP, COVER, and HOLD ON until the earthquake is over and then attend to the infant when it is safe. This is similar to the logic behind the adult putting on the oxygen mask first when cabin pressure drops in an airplane and then helping the child put on the mask after. It's worse for the adult to be injured while trying to get to the baby during an earthquake. This goes against my instincts personally but it does make logical sense.

The important thing is to keep the baby's environment safe in case of an earthquake. Keep the crib and play areas clear of things that could fall inside from above (wall hangings, mobiles, lights, etc.). Also, use baby furniture with low centers of gravity as they are less likely to tip over.

Finally, make sure to include diapers and 72 hours worth of infant formula and bottles/nipples in your emergency kit if you have a baby.

Good to know! There is no need to panic.

Postpartum Recovery and Newborn Care Notes for the Next Time (or Pointers for First-timers)

I remember that while putting together our baby registry and preparing things for our (first) child, I really didn't know what to expect we'd need or which items/types would be best. But many things became crystal clear after our son was born. Luckily, we had a lot of things on hand because my friends handed down a lot of items to me that I would not even have thought of buying. Registry advisory lists are so long yet not specific enough, and ads only pitch the cutesy stuff, not the practical stuff. We ended up utilizing a lot of Amazon Prime shipping or making Target runs to keep our sanity.

Here are some pointers to keep in mind for the next time (I might have to buy some as the items from my friends may have to be returned or passed on!):

1. Nipple relief for breastfeeding - nipple shields (for flat nipples and sore nipples in my case), breast pads (for all the drippage), and breast shields (to let the nipples breathe before stuffing them back in the bra after feeding) are all worth the investment. Also, LANOLIN is awesome for sore nipples. In the first weeks, I put lanolin on my nipples before showering so they'd sting less under the water pressure. I had bought some gel soothers for nipples (from Lansinoh) but never ended up using them because they are only good for 72 hours after opening and are sort of pricey for such a limited use. I used Lansinoh brand for the breast pads and lanolin, Medela brand nipple shields, and Philips Avent breast shields.
2. Other breastfeeding aids - the Boppy Nursing Pillow is great for resting one's arms and holding much of baby's weight while breastfeeding (in the cradle and football positions at least). I also recommend getting good nursing bras. I think the best kinds are the ones that have clasps on each side that unlatch down. Definitely no underwires. I found the other kind (with which you just fold down the "cup") uncomfortable when my breasts were engorged. Nursing cami's with the unlatchable supports are also convenient. I realized after giving birth that I have very few button-down shirts that make breastfeeding easier.
3. Newborn clothes - I always thought onesies were the easiest, but I quickly learned that is not the case. Especially for boys in warm environs, the best are the long-sleeved shirts with snappy fronts (max 4 buttons) and with fold-overs for the hands so mittens are not needed. These are by far the most convenient especially during middle-of-the-night diaper changes. Otherwise, I'd say layettes with front zipper closures are next best. Front snappy closures are ok, but trying to button 20 snappies at 2 AM is really annoying. Onesies are ok during the night too (usually only 2-3 snappies at the bottom), but they are annoying to initially put on over the head. Our son frequently blew out his diaper with poo and had to change clothes. During these instances, onesies were a hassle to change quickly. In general, front closures, fold-overs for hands, zippers, and not more than 2-4 snappy buttons will be my general rule of thumb for infant clothes.
4. Swaddles and blankets - Definitely invest in the sleepsack swaddles with velcro closures. Our son didn't like his arms being swaddled and would often break out of the blanket swaddles no matter how tightly we bound him. The velcro closures were much more secure so he'd stay in. I recommend the thinner cotton sleepsacks to the fleece/polyester blends, at least for babies like our son who sweat a lot. I'm not going to bother with pretty receiving blankets next time either, except maybe one for photos. Everything with baby boys is a candidate for pee and poo stainage. We had some plain cotton swaddles that we used more for spreading out on surfaces for tummy time or to keep him warm in the car seat. Then we had muslin swaddles (aden + anais brand) for actual swaddling. The rayon from bamboo aden + anais swaddles are much softer than their cotton ones.
5. Swing - Because I was intent on breastfeeding, we got our son off the pacifier as soon as we left the hospital. I don't know if that's why, but in any case, our son did not lull/comfort himself to sleep with a paci. Our swing was the lifesaver for putting him to sleep when he became too heavy to hold and would refuse to sleep by himself in bed. The swing that we borrowed had a wide swing as its lowest setting so I might try to find one that is a little less swing-y for our next child, if he/she needs a swing also. I realize not all babies take to swinging.
6. Changing pad covers - we needed at least 2-3 of these due to frequent mid-change poo/pee releases. There are also waterproof liners that can probably be used instead. Honestly, most of our mid-change "surprises" were pee... he aimed them off the changing pad anyway, and those liners are smaller than the pad even.
7. Laundry detergent - we had to do a load of our son's laundry about every 3-4 days. We used Dreft for regular loads and Oxi-Clean for babies for loads with stains.
8. Baby soaps, shampoos, etc. - useless at first. Our son had infant acne which would get agitated by any of these products. We mostly just used water. If anything, we used Dove for sensitive skin and Eucerin cream.

Aside from getting the best material things, I have to make a lot of mental adjustments each day to get over so-called baby blues and face my new life as a mother. I imagine these things will apply on yet another level for second, third, etc. children (yikes, can't even imagine that right now). Here are a few things I keep reminding myself or doing to not go over the edge:

1. Accept people's help even if they don't necessarily do things "my way." I am a type A personality and probably slightly OCD. To have my mother and MIL in my kitchen and cooking for us and buying us food was a household management nightmare (yes, I am that crazy). However, I would have probably eaten way too much takeout or processed foods or I would have starved if it weren't for my awesome mother and MIL. So who cares if they don't know where everything properly goes in my cupboards or they make something with too little or too much salt and soy sauce or they buy too much of something that ends up getting thrown away? Just take it and BE GRATEFUL.
2. Eat the damn miyuk gook. At first I was exclusively eating miyuk gook 5-6 times a day, morning, noon, night, middle of the night. Then, upon my insistence, they let me cut down to just 3 times a day around week 4 and then just 2 times a day. I switched to other gooks after week 5. I complained A LOT, especially during those first couple weeks. But honestly, if I get over myself, miyuk gook is admittedly really easy going down and coming out. So next time, I better just eat the damn thing and not complain. Plus, they made it for me by the gallon (see point 1 above).
3. Take the time for sitz baths. I stopped doing the sitz baths after a couple weeks although my doctor recommended them 2-3 times daily. I just couldn't find the time to do it so frequently every day and preferred to catch some sleep instead. However, I picked up doing the sitz baths again at least once a day for better healing down there and because sitz bath time is 20 minutes I can have completely to myself. That timeout is essential for sanity. Sometimes I just sit there to clear my head or to think, and often I spend time to pray. No one bothers me; it is me time.
4. I will not get any sleep, maybe max 2-3 hours a night. Once I accepted this as fact, nights when I got 5 or 6 hours of sleep felt like tremendous blessings. In the end, I probably had more nights with 5-6 hours of sleep than with only 2 hours, at least in the first 6 weeks (which is the point at which we are right now). I think I average around 4 hours and slip in a short nap or two during the day. It's grueling, but I won't die.

So there you have it. I'll add to this list if I think of more pointers. We just passed the end of week 6 yesterday and I got an all-clear at my postpartum OB checkup yesterday. Onward and upward!